"If You are Thirsty, Drink!"
It was sometime in the
late 1970’s, I was already deeply
involved in the “Gurdjieff Work” and I had no interest in meeting this yogi,
but agreed to attend a small, semi-private gathering with him when he was
visiting some of his followers in Chicago. I had heard that he was an old
Shaktipat yogi, a yogi that works with Kundalini, a powerful energy that can be
awakened within us that leads to powerful experiences of mystical powers and
spiritual bliss. I had heard that this yogi was not well known in spiritual and
New-Age circles, and that he was the “real deal”.
As I mentioned, I was
not interested, or even curious about
the yogi, had all but forgot about
him, and never made a connection between
him and the strange internal
state I began to experience during the
days before the gathering. I was very emotional; I remember eating lunch in a
little restaurant and being unable to control my own weeping—weeping neither
tears of unhappiness nor happiness, but something else, like rain
clouds pregnant with longing. And something
else was out of the ordinary, I was not lost
in my mood, as is often the case with the
intensity of normal emotions, I was “above” my mood,
watching myself with myself.
It was more than forty years ago and so
my recollection of many of the details is a little sketchy, but
the “program” took place in a medium-size room in a neighborhood wellness
center. There were perhaps no more than thirty to fifty people in
attendance.
The yogi was introduced.
He had the longest name I have ever heard,
and I don’t remember it. He was small of stature and looked like he could have
been in his sixties, though something he mentioned to a friend of mine
indicated that he was probably in his early to mid-eighties.
I had heard that he did
not speak very much, and true to form, his remarks were brief and left no
impression on me but for the fact that he said he was on the “sixth level” and
could not advance further in the body he was now in. What he meant by the “sixth
level” I really don’t know, but I assumed he was talking about the sixth plane
of consciousness, the highest plane of illusory
consciousness before God-realization.
The sixth plane is
called Brahmaloke—the World of God. One whose consciousness is of the sixth
plane sees God everywhere, in everyone and everything, even himself, but does
not identify himself as God, because he still
remains identified with his
mind.
The yogi indicated that we were
to meditate with him, which we did for about forty minutes. He gave no instructions, and I engaged the practice of
watching my breath and trying not to follow my thoughts. I experienced a
powerful meditation—deep and silent—but did get distracted on two occasions,
one when there was some noise—voices—coming from a closed door to an adjacent
room that caused me to open my eyes and
see the yogi stand up and take a step in the direction of the door. The voices
immediately stopped. The other time I opened my eyes during the meditation—and
I don’t know what prompted me to do so—I saw the yogi walk over to a young
woman, a friend of mine, who was sitting in a very stiff formal posture and
tell her to relax and not work so hard at her meditation.
The “young woman” of
this story is none other than Dr. Dorothy Mead, the co-author of my most recent
book, SuperVisions
(available from me at fromsilence2sound142@gmail.com). She gave me permission
to publish a few of her comments on her meeting with the yogi…
“Just read the blog and
it made me giggle...because all I spontaneously remembered from the meditation
was that I was tense, and that
was pointed out to me. So I was very curious to see what you might have
remembered...
“ I remember this yogi
as being somewhat athletic (and bald) because it was such a contrast to the
other yogi Bob B. had introduced us to, who had the flowing gray/black hair and somewhat
fragile demeanor more 'typical' of pictures I had seen of yogis. As you said,
he appeared to be in his sixties...
“Another thing I remember was that after he told me not
to work so hard, I began to experience energy moving up my spine in a way I had never
experienced before. It was all so new to me - meditation was something
completely foreign (and difficult) for me, having really only encountered it in
the G. group at the time...and not being of the type to sit still anyway!
“I wish I could say his
admonition changed everything for me forever (how loudly are you laughing
now?), but that 'formal' pose has haunted me for years (and been rather
crippling at times)...even now, as I approach the study of biodynamic craniosacral therapy, it can take
hold - we spent literally hours and hours working with expanding attention,
deepening awareness and relaxation, the weekend before last, and when it was
over, my body felt fractured. Plenty of work to do...”
I don’t remember how it
happened, but after the gathering was over, I received an invitation, along
with a few other people, to meditate with the yogi for the next few mornings
while he was still in town. I accepted the invitation.
The yogi was traveling with
three eastern disciples, two men and a woman, and staying in Chicago at the
apartment of one of his western disciples. The pattern was always the
same…
We, the invited
guests—there were about five of us— would arrive at the apartment at the
appointed time in the morning—somewhere around 7 or 8 AM. We would be escorted
to a small bedroom and would sit on the floor around the yogi’s bed. I don’t
recall him ever saying anything to us. We would meditate until he indicated to
us that it was over—about an hour—and then we would be escorted to the door and
out of the apartment.
As I mentioned, this
went on for about five days. After the morning meditations I would resume my
normal schedule, mainly working on music and teaching guitar. I remember quite
clearly that for this period of time I remained in a super-charged state of
awareness. I felt different, not really comfortable or uncomfortable, but with
a strong feeling that many of my usual limitations, psychologically, musically,
etc. had been transcended. I was playing my scales and exercises much faster
than I ever had and the world at large appeared to me to be very small and
mechanical and asleep.
I think it was on the
third day; things were different when I arrived for the morning meditation. As I mentioned, the previous days we were met at the door and escorted into the
yogi’s room. It was all very orderly; the three disciples were very friendly
and efficient with us.
But this day, when I
walked into the apartment, I could see that one of the disciples—the woman—was,
apparently, still asleep on her bedding on the living room floor. The other two
disciples seemed agitated, if not alarmed.
I learned from someone
that the woman was not asleep
but was stuck in some kind of
Samadhi—a trance-like state of consciousness—and could not “wake up”. Within
minutes the yogi appeared and began to work on the woman. I was surprised to
see how forceful he was as he began to press various points on her head and
neck. At first I observed no noticeable effect from his actions, but then when
he began to force his thumbs deep into the disciple’s eye sockets she began to
stir. At times, the yogi’s thumbs were pushed so far behind her eyeballs that I
could not see them.
It took about
ten minutes for her to “come back”. It was
as if the yogi was dragging her back from some
faraway place, and it was a tremendous
struggle, but as soon as it was over, she immediately rose to her feet and
began to do things—as if nothing had happened to her at all! The yogi returned
to his room, and we joined him, as usual, for
our morning meditation.
From observing the
disciple’s experience I learned one thing; if you are seriously going to follow
a real yogi—I’m not talking here about classes at your neighborhood health
club, or even your average spiritual retreat—if you seriously follow a real
yogi or teacher, you had better be prepared to trust him with your life,
health, and sanity, for in a very real way, that is exactly what you will be doing.
After the morning
meditation on the day before the yogi was to leave town, I received an offer to
become a disciple. This brief conversation with the yogi ensued:
“Thank you for this
opportunity, but I must decline your offer because I am already in the
Gurdjieff work and feel it would be a conflict to follow two paths.”
“There is no conflict; If
you’re thirsty, drink!”
“No doubt, you are
right. At your level of unity there would be no conflict, but at my level of
dichotomy, there is this conflict. So, I will refuse your offer, but I do
request one thing.”
“Yes?”
“Please help me
internally to achieve that state of unity that
you have achieved.”
The yogi nodded his
head. “Yes,” he said.
It was not long after
that a series of events occurred in my life that culminated in me going to
India, realizing my connection to Avatar Meher Baba, and leaving the Gurdjieff
work. I have been with Meher Baba ever since…
Labels: Dr. Dorothy Mead, Kundalini Yoga, Meher Baba. Gurdjieff Work, Supervisions, yoga